Week 10. Turning Rejection into Resilience.

Written By Pax Lilly

A Personal and Professional Perspective

Rejection is an inevitable part of life, yet it remains one of the most difficult experiences to endure. Whether in careers, relationships, or personal aspirations, rejection often feels like a personal failure. However, what if rejection is not a door closing but a redirection to something better? For those who have faced and overcome rejection, the experience often becomes a defining moment, one that builds resilience, sharpens focus, and fosters personal growth.

Statistics suggest that rejection is more common than we may think. Research indicates that job seekers, on average, face 24 rejections before landing an offer (Indeed, 2021). In personal relationships, studies show that rejection activates the same brain regions as physical pain, explaining why it feels so incredibly  profound (Eisenberger et al., 2003). But, we must learn, rejection is not the end of the road; it is merely part of the journey.

My Own Encounters with Rejection

I did not get to where I am today without facing numerous setbacks. After completing my undergraduate degree, I was eager to contribute to a meaningful cause. I applied for two roles: one with my local council, specifically designed for graduates from lower socio-economic backgrounds, and another as a researcher with the Ministry of Justice, an opportunity I felt was perfectly aligned with my interests. I carefully prepared my applications, confident in my ability to make a difference. The result? Rejected. Twice.

At that moment, rejection felt like a harsh blow. A crushing defeat, but rather than allowing these experiences to diminish my ambition, I used them as motivation to carve out my own path. This is what led me to pursue a Master of Laws. If my government did not want me, that was fine, I would find my own way to help my fellow citizens. 

Rejection was not an endpoint but a signpost guiding me toward a better route.


Elon Musk: Rejected by His Heroes

Elon Musk, a remarkable visionary who has recently revolutionised the space industry, faced one of the deepest forms of rejectio, not from competitors or sceptics, but from his own heroes. Astronauts Neil Armstrong and Eugene Cernan, pioneers of human space exploration, publicly opposed the commercialisation of space and testified before Congress against funding private ventures like SpaceX (Outcast Motivation, 2022). For Musk, who had idolised these men since childhood, their rejection was a deeply painful blow. In a rare moment of vulnerability, he became emotional when discussing it in an interview, yet he did not allow their doubt to deter him. Instead, he used it as fuel to push forward, proving that rejection, even from those we admire the most, does not define our potential.

Today, SpaceX is at the forefront of space exploration, launching missions once thought impossible. Musk’s story serves as a testament to resilience: even when our idols turn away, success remains within reach for those who persist.

Rejection in Personal Relationships

The same principle applies to personal relationships. At times, people exit our lives, and though it may feel like rejection, it is often a necessary evolution. Upon reflection, we realise that some relationships were only meant for a season. Rather than mourning their departure, we should appreciate the lessons they provided and move forward with grace. When rejected by others, we should thank them for their role in our journey and accept that the universe, or fate, or God, has a better plan in store.

Rejection and setbacks are an inevitable part of any journey, but true success belongs to those who refuse to give up. As Eddie Pinero eloquently states in his YouTube video Ten Thousand Hours, achieving greatness is like signing a contract with yourself, a commitment to push forward even when there are no immediate results. "If success came with the snap of a finger, everyone would be running four-minute miles and driving Ferraris," but that is not how life works. It may take a hundred attempts before you even begin to see progress, yet without the foresight and persistence to see past the obstacles, you will never know what was possible (Pinero, 2020).

Rejection is not a closed door; it is a test of resilience, a necessary part of growth that separates those who dream from those who achieve.

Rejection is not a reflection of inadequacy but a redirection toward greater opportunities. Many renowned figures have faced immense rejection before achieving success. J.K. Rowling was famously rejected by 12 publishers before Harry Potter was accepted (The Economic Times (2023). Abraham Lincoln lost multiple elections before becoming one of history’s most revered leaders. Even in the legal world, some of the most successful advocates have encountered failed cases and setbacks before making their mark.

Embracing Rejection as a Stepping Stone

So, how can we change our mindset toward rejection?

  • Reframe the experience – Instead of seeing rejection as a failure, view it as an opportunity for growth and learning.

  • Take constructive feedback – Sometimes, rejection offers valuable insights that can help us improve.

  • Stay persistent – Success often requires resilience. Those who push forward despite rejection are the ones who ultimately succeed.

Trust the process – What feels like a setback today may be the very thing that leads you to something better tomorrow.

Always remember, rejection is rough, but it is also necessary. It teaches us resilience, shapes our character, and leads us toward opportunities we may not have considered otherwise. Whether in our careers, relationships, or personal endeavours, rejection should be embraced as part of the journey, not feared as an obstacle.

The next time you face rejection, remind yourself: it is not the end. It is simply a redirection to something greater.

To those who have faced rejection and kept going, to the ones who turned setbacks into stepping stones, I honour you. It takes strength to push forward when the world tells you no, to rise after each fall, and to trust that every closed door is simply guiding you to something greater. Looking back, we should do so not with bitterness, but with humility and gratitude. Every rejection, every detour, every person who entered and exited our lives played a role in shaping who we are today. Whether they supported us or challenged us, they were part of the journey. And for that, we move forward with love, knowing that resilience and purpose will always lead us exactly where we are meant to be.

References



Pax Lilly
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